Tigerheat Etiquette

Dance clubs are one of the most complicated and dramatic subsections of gay culture. There is a secret language that's spoken on the dance floor. It's a special dialect, a derivative of body language that's more complex and harder to understand. As gay men, we've made the dance floor a world of politics for the vain. If you don't know the language, you have to pick it up fast, or you'll learn things the hard way. This is my experience on the floors of Tigerheat, a gay club in West Hollywood.

The first step to any interaction with another guy on the dance floor is eye contact. On more than one instance. Anyone can look at you once. But when you've locked eyes a second time, it's a sign that both parties were interested enough for another look. You cannot dance with a guy until you make eye contact. Well, you can. But unless you're an absurdly attractive model, you won't get anywhere most of the time. Eye contact is usually accompanied by a smile. I'm shy though, so I usually look away nervously at the first sings of a smile. But the continued eye contact still serves as a pretty successful "come hither" device.

Things can diverge down several different paths at this point.

If both individuals are really confident in themselves and not shy, they usually make a beeline for each other and then make out instantaneously for about three hours.

If one is confident, but the other is not, the confident party will usually make gestures to lure the shy one over. Pretty unsuccessful. It usually results in the confident party retrieving the shy party himself and making the moves he needs to make to keep things going smoothly.

If neither one is that confident, the two individuals share a moment of mamihlapinatapai ( my new word of the week, which Im not actually going to define or elaborate on), and move on.

Of course, there are millions of tiny variations and levels of confidence, which usually play out in more interesting scenarios. One of the most common is the Girlfriend Wingman. This situation involves a third party; a girlfriend from either male's group that serves as a middle man. Said female dances with the male from the outside party, eventually incorporates dancing from her own homosexual, and then ejects herself from the situation, leaving the two original parties.

Then there's the Back to Back Dance Engagement. This is the one I'm most used to. Once both groups are right next to each other, the two gentlemen involved somehow end up back to back. The more they press into each other, the more interested they must be. Eventually one or both persons turn around to initiate the dancing.

Once the dancing begins, the process becomes a tango (for lack of a better word) of where the night will go. Usually the individuals involved switch off moving things a step forward. If one person does all the moving, there's a risk of overloading the other, and, in turn, causing a loss of interest.

I wish I could continue, but I feel like I'm getting boring and difficult to understand. There are so many things to consider though. When is the right time to ask for a number? Is it worth it?
What is this person looking for? All of that plays into every moment of interacting with someone on the dance floor. And frankly, it's exhausting. Everything has become such an ordeal.

It's hard to put such a succinct microcosm into words.