Prologue

Everyone has that moment in a terrible day where they relinquish any hope of revival and yield to its gruesome events. The day becomes an unfortunate manifestation of Murphy’s Law, and you just chalk it up to bad luck and move on. You go to sleep, and you hope your day won’t be as horrifying tomorrow. Everyone has those days. Everyone gets raped by coincidence at some point or another. Including me. I’m a special case though. I’m a victim of misfortune’s fancy. I’m a target for that sort of thing. I’m a misfortune magnet.

I’ve coined a new term for myself. I call myself a cynical optimist. It might be an oxymoron, but it’s definitely not impossible. I see the potential for a day to shine. I have fantasies about executing perfect days; the kind where there’s a happy upbeat song, the sun is shining, and everyone on the street joins you in a joyful, well choreographed dance number. But I’ve felt the realness of life. I’ve felt the cold, damp, wet blanket that flops on the world sometimes. And because I’ve felt that, I prepare for the worst. But the thing it, it doesn’t stop me from hoping that everything will turn out okay. It doesn’t stop me from smiling and embodying the sunshine, and infecting as many other people with happiness as I can.

This is a blog about my life, my story. My life has been a ridiculous collision of so much disaster, but somehow I’ve managed to crawl from the wreckage and stand tall. I’m one of those people that tends to be the butt of life’s jokes. And in the end, I just had to learn to laugh at myself with everyone else. Even when I’m the punch line. This isn’t going to be a blog about how much I hate my miserable life, it’s going to be a amusing, optimistic, outlook on the suckery of life. This isn’t just a blog. This is research. This is an experiment. Am I a victim of the most perfectly timed bad luck? Maybe it’s all coincidence. Either way, get ready.